


caterpillar in my soul

by Marshmellow (orphan_account)



Series: friends & neighbors [3]
Category: Band of Brothers, Generation Kill, The Pacific (TV)
Genre: M/M, more angst bc i hate everyone apparently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 20:26:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3424457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Marshmellow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eugene Sledge literally has a broken heart and Ray makes a new friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	caterpillar in my soul

**Author's Note:**

> So not at all Speirs/Lip or the Guarnere & Toye I intended to write. Gillian reminded me of this storyline and I decided to use it!
> 
> Title from Got No Place To Go by Gabriella Cilmi

Ray dragged Walt home on a Wednesday.

Walt Hasser was a sunny faced West Virginia native who worked as an event manager for a local youth center. Ray found him at Mama Lieb’s one morning while he was nagging Joe for a few free croissants. Unfortunately for Walt, Ray is like a leech, only harder to get rid of. He’d sat down across from Walt and talked at him until they both had to go to work. Ray somehow got a phone number off him and they’d texted constantly since. Everyone was still trying to figure out that miracle.

The only ones besides Ray who could prove that Walt was actually real were Rudy, who taught classes at the youth center every now and then, and Joe, who had served him blueberry muffins many a morning. Needless to say, there was still a lot of doubt that Walt willingly stayed in contact with Ray. This only led to Ray getting irritable and announcing that he would be bringing Walt home to meet everyone. Hoosier honestly couldn’t have cared less, but Luz, Skip, and Malarkey were overly excited.

Because of all this, there was a party being held in 2F that Wednesday night. Honestly, they just all wanted an excuse to get drunk in the middle of the week. Hoosier would’ve been on board if he didn’t have to get up at five the next morning. Looked like he was going to be one of sane people who weren’t going to be blackout drunk by the end of the night.

Wednesdays were Hoosier’s only days off. He guessed that’s what he got for not having his shit together at twenty-three and having to work a shitty barista job until he could convince a real company to hire him. If he couldn’t find one by the end of the month, he’d beg Nix or Dick for help, but he wasn’t to that point of desperation yet. He wanted to keep his dignity in tact.

The point being, Wednesday was supposed to be a relaxing day where he didn’t have to deal with anyone. Instead, his MASH marathon was being crudely interrupted by Ray and Luz yapping on and on about the damn party.

“I don’t wanna kill him, so no punch bowls or any sissy shit like that. Nix would poison it and next thing you know, Leckie and Web are making babies on my bed.”

Hoosier rolled his eyes. “Fuck you, Person.”

“Get in line behind Walt, you salty motherfucker.” Ray beamed. God, that kid thrived on pissing people off. “I pulled out my nicest pair of jeans for this shit; even my momma would be proud. Not even you can bring me down, homie.”

“Hoosier, wanna start pre-gaming now?” Luz asked. It wasn’t even ten in the morning yet. Hoosier sighed.

 

Ray told Walt to be there at six, so of course the perfect fucker came fifteen minutes early with a bottle of tequila and a bag of limes.

“I assumed you’d have salt. Is this enough?”

It was a miracle Ray didn’t debauche him on the spot. Instead, he and Skip excitedly took the alcohol and Luz nearly ripped open the bag of limes.

“I love you.” Luz said sincerely. “I love you and your limes.”

Walt smiled. “Ray said you’d be easy to win over. Heard you’re a big fan of Day Z?”

“No shit! You play?”

“One of the kids at the center basically stole my laptop and set it up for me.”

Luz absolutely beamed. “You and me, we’re gonna get along just great. Welcome to the Currahee family, Hasser!”

Not long after that, everyone else started showing up. Ron and Carwood brought a fancy bottle of wine that Ray rolled his eyes at and Skip cradled like a small baby. Joe, Web, and Leckie all arrived with goodnatured bad attitudes and complaints about Ray’s choice of music. Hoosier insisted that he wanted something more mellow than dubstep, but nobody believed him. Snafu showed up alone, no Sledge hanging off his back like usual. When questioned, all he said was that he wasn’t Sledge’s fucking babysitter. Sledge arrived later with Sid and Mary in tow, which ended any further questioning about Snafu’s weird mood. He always got a little cranky when he had to share.

When Nixon showed up, it was to cheers and the general agreement that the party had started. Walt was having a blast talking to everyone, but Ray really had no doubt that everyone would love him. He was all too aware that he’d snatched up a fine piece of ass way out of his league. He didn’t bring this up to anyone, however, because there’s no room for feelings when Nixon’s offering to do tequila shots off of Walt’s abs. It said a lot about Nix and Dick’s commitment to each other that Dick didn’t even look slightly worried about this.

Despite the general good vibes from the party, Hoosier had suspected something was up with Sledge and Snafu since they’d arrived. Sid seemed to be keeping a pretty close eye on Sledge, which is expected of such an old friend. While Hoosier didn’t want to pry, he also sort of really wanted to pry. The only others times Hoosier had seen Snafu this agitated was when he got into rare fights with Andy. Something had to really have pissed him off. Hoosier found Sledge hiding away in the kitchen an hour into the party.

“You’re doing a pretty obvious job of avoiding your problems.” Hoosier said as he sat at the kitchen table and propped up his legs comfortably. “I can’t get drunk tonight, so you wanna entertain me with your latest sob story?”

Eugene was sitting on the counter, peeling at the label of an unopened beer bottle. He scowled. “It ain’t a sob story and I’m not avoiding anything. I just don’t want to be in the middle of the party, okay?”

“No need to get all cranky at me.”

Eugene sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t gotta be sorry. I’m just interested in what the hell you did to make Snafu so damn pissy tonight. I asked him for a light and he told me to fuck off.”

Sledge honestly hated the idea of everyone knowing his business, despite being a chattermouth himself. It was difficult in this friend circle, as everyone tended to spread information quicker than cliques in high school, but he liked to keep some things to himself. It was even more important to him to keep these personal matters to himself. Snafu and him had been having a lot of fights recently, but it had gotten worse earlier that week. Sledge wanted to forget about it.

“Merriell is just not capable of handling his frustrations, is all.” Eugene settled with.

“Fair enough. I’m just sayin’, I’m gonna find out eventually. Might as well tell me your side of the story while it’s just us two.”

Hoosier had a frustratingly good point. Eugene decided he really didn’t have a choice. He begrudgingly nodded. “You ain’t gonna believe me.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Fine.” Eugene said. “A few weeks ago, after I noticed that my heart issue is becoming more of an actual problem, my dad told me to consider surgery. He can’t make me do anything, and it ain’t a necessary procedure, but he’s ‘highly recommending’ it. I’ve been seeing a heart specialist and taking my medication, and I think that’s enough. It’s not like I’ve been fainting, just feelin’ some discomfort and trouble breathin’, more so than the usual. Snafu thinks it’s a huge issue. He’s more aggressive about it than my father. We ain’t been exchangin’ too fond of words recently.”

“That’s it?” Hoosier said slowly. “Your fightin’ because he wants you to what, be healthy?”

“He’s being controlling. Sid understands this thing way more than Snafu does, and he ain’t tryin’ to force me to do anything I don’t want to.”

“Oh, that it?” An angry voice came from the kitchen doorway. “I been watchin’ yo’ back how many years, but Sidney comes back and now he knows you best?”

Hoosier decided it would be best if he wasn’t present for this. “Okay, well, nice talkin’ to you, Eugene. Good luck with your heart and shit.” He slipped past Snafu before either of them could process him leaving. Not that they were paying attention anyway.

“You know what I mean. Sid knew me when I found out about it; he grew up with me. He knows everything about me, Snafu. Just because you know me now doesn’t mean you know everything.”

“Just because Sid knew you then, don’t mean he knows you now. Fuck you, Sledgehammer. You don’t see that you’re gonna get yo’self killed one day because you were too damn dignified to know when you need help. Sorry I want to see you live to the age of thirty. Maybe you ought to think of who your real friends are. The ones who look out for you or the ones who don’t call you out for your own safety.”

“Shut up, Snafu.” Eugene said, dangerously quiet. “Don’t talk about Sid like that.”

“I was there when your brother shipped out, I was there when your goddamn dog died, I was there when your mama was in the hospital, I was there when you lost your fucking mind, I was there for all the shit you’ve been through the past five years. And you’ve been there through all of my shit. And now Sid’s up here, and it’s like it don’t matter he was off living a separate life for the past five years.”

“He’s been my best friend since we were little. And he’ll always be my best friend.”

Snafu’s eyes hardened. “What am I?”

Eugene leveled him with a stony stare. “You think you can make decisions for me under the guise of protection when really, you just want to lock me up so no one can take me away from you. That ain’t friendship, and it’ll do you some good to understand that. I ain’t your property.”

Snafu’s face stayed as completely neutral as he could manage, but his eyes were sad and wet. “Well, fuck you, Eugene. People like you are the reason I don’t trust nobody. I ain’t done nothin’ wrong, just try to push you in the right direction, because for some fucked up reason, I don’t wanna see you hurtin’. Fuck you. I hope Sid knows what a shit best friend he’s got.”

“Shut up.” Eugene said as he pushed himself off the counter and breezed by Snafu.

“Fuck you.” Snafu said after him.

“Shut up!”

“Fuck you!” Snafu shouted as Eugene slammed the front door shut. Everyone turned to look at him. “What? Go back to your fuckin’ party.” He left shortly after to hide away in his own apartment.

 

Stella was honestly a little worried about Eugene. She didn’t like seeing her friends fight, no matter how used to it she was by now. It was a little alarming how everyone just brushed off Eugene’s exit, but then again, there’s been more dramatic exits in their apartment. Even so, after Eugene had sped right out of there, she couldn’t really focus on the party anymore and excused herself after half an hour of pretending to listen to Joe and Skip debate the best Green Lantern.

She knocked on his door loudly over the music that was audible from 2F. “Eugene? Hey, it’s me, it’s Stella.”

No answer. Huh.

“Uh, Eugene? Seriously, I know you’re in there. We all heard you slam the door pretty loudly.” Nothing. She tried the doorknob and found it unlocked. Before pushing it open, she called in one last time. “I’m coming in, okay?”

She immediately knew something was up. The air was way too still and there was just a too quiet vibe about the apartment. Eugene wasn’t in the main room or the kitchen. She was afraid to look in his room, almost. She rapped on the door a few times and tried to convince herself he was just sleeping.

“Hey, Eugene. If you’re sleeping, wake up. I’m just checking to make sure you’re okay.” She tried the knob when she got no answer, again finding it unlocked. “I’m coming in...again...I just wanted to see if - oh, fuck.”

Sledge was in his room, alright. He was lying on the floor, unconscious and a sizable bruise forming on his forehead. A bottle of pills was lying not far from him. Stella tried to keep calm, but seeing one of your good friends lying in a crumpled unconscious heap kind of made a person freak the fuck out.

“Oh, god, I…” She knelt down to shake him. “Eugene, wake up, please, wake the absolute fuck up. Oh my god, please be alive.” She checked for a pulse and signs of breathing before deciding that it was okay to leave him briefly to get help. This time, she didn’t give a shit about the party. She rushed in and turned off the stereo, ignoring the angry shouts.

“Eugene’s passed out in his room, I need someone to phone an ambulance and for Renee to come with me.” She was lucky it was a rare day when Renee and Gene weren’t both at work, so she at least got one of them. Thank God for small miracles.

While Renee and Stella rushed across the hall, the party atmosphere turned into a crowd of worried and confused guys. Andy and Eddie had quickly left to go find Snafu while Burgie called for the ambulance. Everyone else was left in stunned silence.

“Listen guys, if anyone needs a ride to whatever hospital they take him to, I have a pretty big truck. I can probably take seven of us.” Walt said. “I had one shot and a beer, and that was like two hours ago. Most of you probably can’t say the same.”

“God, I cannot believe someone like you is hanging around someone like Ray.” Toye clapped Walt on the shoulder. “Remind me to buy you a beer sometime.”

Hoosier had gravitated towards Leckie, casually hanging off his shoulder for comfort. They didn’t really do the whole comfort thing, not yet. They were both always so afraid to toe that line of friendship and romance that they just played overly nonchalant. Now, though, Hoosier knew Leckie needed some sort of anchor. Sledge was like his little brother. Sledge was everyone’s little brother, no matter how old he was.

He slipped his hand into Leckie’s hair and let the action speak the words he couldn’t.

 

Andy and Eddie practically knocked down Snafu’s door when he didn’t answer. Andy pulled out his most disappointed voice, and Eddie just said if the door wasn’t open in five seconds, it’d be broken on the floor. Snafu tended to take them literally when they said things like that.

“What? Sledge send you to apologize?”

They exchanged a look, Andy giving Eddie permission to take over the conversation. “Stella found Sledge passed out in his bedroom. We thought you oughta know. Burgie’s callin’ the ambulance, we thought that-”

Eddie was interrupted by Snafu barrelling through him and Andy and down the hall to Sledge's apartment. Sledge had regained a weak sort of consciousness, so Renee and Stella had relocated him to the living room couch while they waited for paramedics. Snafu didn’t notice this as he came in yelling.

“I told him, I fucking told him. Nobody fucking listens to me! I told him this would happen! Fuck. You fucking dumbass-”

Stella pushed him back out the door. “We need you out, Merriell.” Snafu pushed back.

“No! Let me fucking see him. Let me tell that fucker I told you so. I can’t let him, no, if he’s gonna die, he’s gonna die knowing I was trying to help!”

“I’m not...gonna die.” Eugene breathed slowly. “You fucking...idiot. I’ve got it...under control.”

Andy and Eddie swept in, each taking on of Snafu’s arms before he could move further into the apartment. He struggled against them wildly. “Let me go!” He said angrily. “Get the fuck off of me!” Neither of them listened.

“Merriell, we’re going back to your apartment now.” Andy said, leaving no room for argument. Snafu let out a string of curses as he was pulled away from Sledge’s apartment.

“I told him, I fucking told him…”

“We know.” Andy said, running a hand down Snafu’s back. It was supposed to be comforting, but lord knows Snafu never let anyone see him as weak enough to need comfort. He pulled away when they got back to his apartment and all but stomped into his room. Andy and Eddie decided it would be best not to follow him.

Andy collapsed onto the couch. It was difficult taking care of those two sometimes. He knew Snafu respected him and Eddie, but it was hard not to feel useless in this kind of situation. Eddie slid next to him and pulled him down to pillow his head on his chest.

“You’re doin’ fine. It’s a bad situation, that’s all.”

All Andy could do was nod and thank God he decided not to drink that night.

Half an hour later, Dick texted Andy that Sledge was on his way to St. Francis Hospital, and he’d be just fine. While they all had little doubt that Sledge would pull through, it was still good to hear that he’d be alright.

Snafu hadn’t made a noise since he’d locked himself away. Eddie dozed off, still dizzy from the alcohol, so Andy decided to let him be for a moment more and take care of it.

“Merriell.” Andy knocked on his door. “Eugene’s at St. Francis, would you like to visit him? I’m gonna leave in about fifteen minutes.”

There was no answer.

“Look, I know you’re scared. But I reckon your friendship is more important than a disagreement. You two have fought way worse than this before and been just fine. You don’t need to act macho; just come with me.”

The door opened slowly. “Fine. But don’t expect no happy reunion.”

“Fine by me.”

 

Gene was surprised to find half of his apartment complex in the waiting room of his hospital. He was making his final rounds before his shift ended, excited at the prospect of going home to a nice cup of tea, his boyfriend, and HGTV. It seemed the night would end a lot differently.

Stella, Renee, Toye, Skip, Luz, Dick, Lew, Hoosier, Leckie, Ray, some blonde Gene didn’t recognize, Web, and Joe were taking up half of the waiting room. Sid was pacing in the middle of the room, looking worried and guilty while Mary sat with the girls. Ron and Carwood decided to stay behind and clean up the party, much to Ray’s relief. He’d promised them an Edible Arrangement.

“What’s goin’ on? Is it Edward again?” He was sure that Babe had done something stupid again. But then again, usually if Babe needed a trip to the hospital, only a few tagged along, as it was usually nothing serious.

“Thanks for that vote of confidence, Gene.” Babe said from behind him. “I was in the bathroom. It’s Sledge you should be worried about.”

He was slightly relieved that Babe was fine, but it was quickly replaced with worry for Sledge.

“Is it his heart? I’ve been tellin’ him he should just that surgery. I dun’ know why he insists on making his life so difficult.”

“Yeah, well, apparently Snafu agrees.” Hoosier said from his corner. He and Joe were flipping through the Highlights. Leckie was asleep on Hoosier’s shoulder, drooling onto his nice jacket. Hoosier didn’t complain.

“Is that what they were shouting about when Sledge stormed out?” Stella asked from where she and Mary were curled up on one of the benches.

“Yep.” Hoosier said, not looking up from his magazine.

“No offense, but may I ask who you are?” Gene turned to the blondie that Ray was currently marking territory over. Ray’s leg was swung over the guy’s lap, but instead of looking annoyed like most people would, he was running a comforting hand up and down the leg. He stopped when he realized Gene was talking to him.

“Oh, right! I’m Walt, Walt Hasser. Ray wanted me to meet everyone, which is great, because I just moved to the city. You have a great group of friends.” Walt smiled and offered his hand to shake. Gene took it. “Sorry about Eugene.”

“You’re a friend of Ray’s?” Gene asked.

“We’re all surprised too.” Joe said. Ray, who appeared to be not entirely sober, pouted at this. He sort of hoped they’d stop with those jokes eventually, because even his bright personality can be shaken up.

“Wait, where is Snafu? And Eddie and Andy? I figured they’d be the first ones here.” Gene looked around.

Sid stopped pacing. “Andy and Eddie should be here with Merriell soon. They had to calm him down first.” He collapsed into an empty chair. “I’m so stupid. I should’ve known Merriell was right.”

“You couldn’t have known anything.” Gene said truthfully. He knew how these things were. Just when you think you have control over your health, it can turn against you. He didn’t blame anyone for this sort of situation.

A doctor came out shortly.

“Eugene Sledge?” He barely flinched when about 20 people stood up, just sighed. “Alright then. Eugene will be fine. We got his medication in him, which was the most important problem. We’re keeping him overnight for safety measures, but he should be out by morning. He just needs to rest for now. I can’t say much more unless you’re actually family which I’m going to take a wild guess that you aren’t. Nurse Roe and Doctor LeMaire know the rules, I’ll trust them to make sure they’re followed.” He gave a knowing look to Gene and Renee. It was clear that visiting hours were long over, but there’s always some luck in having nurse and doctor friends.

Renee stood and explained that only three visitors were allowed at a time, but since they knew he’d be fine and most likely discharged by the morning, most of them should head home. There was a general disagreement with this, but Renee left no room to argue and pushed most of them out. Babe left with a kiss on the cheek and promise to see him later. Gene smiled sadly, as he wanted to spend the night with Babe.

Gene, Renee, Leckie, Hoosier, Web, Sid, and Joe remained. Gene and Renee, because they knew they would be able to translate any medical ailments. Leckie and Web, for obvious reasons, as they were worried about their roommate and good friend (well, and because Leckie was still asleep). Hoosier could’ve left, but he felt wrong leaving Leckie. He could tell Joe felt the same about Web. Sid had urged Mary to go home, so he sat alone slightly farther away from the others.

Hoosier looked up from his magazine to say something to Joe, but Joe and Web were having a quiet conversation to themselves. He didn’t want to interrupt their moment, but he couldn’t help but watch. He wanted it so bad, what they hid from everyone. The quiet conversations, the casual protectiveness, as if physical protection could keep the other one from being emotionally hurt. Hoosier looked down at Leckie, who was still dead to the world. He could see himself having that with him, but he couldn’t risk it. Leckie and him weren’t made for romance, only to sneer at it from afar. They’d discussed it before. It didn’t make Hoosier want it any less.

Renee was about to ask who wanted to visit first when Andy, Eddie, and a very passive looking Snafu walked in. Snafu stared down Sid, who looked slightly terrified and apologetic.

“Listen, Snafu, I-”

“No need, Sidney.” Snafu sat heavily on the chair opposite of Sid. His lazy slouching was a stark contrast to Sid’s tense posture. “You was just bein’ supportive of yo’ best friend.”

“Merriell.” Andy warned. He looked absolutely exhausted. Eddie worried for him. He took on more responsibility with the guys than he needed to. While it inspired Eddie, it also saddened him to see Andy so worn out. Andy deserved all the good the world could offer. Why didn’t everyone see that?

Snafu actually quieted down after that. Eddie could tell he was just worried and scared, even though he put on an indifferent attitude and brushed it off.

“Andy, Eddie, I think you should visit first.” Renee’s voice cut through the silence. She kept an eye on Snafu. “Bring Sid with you. I think Merriell needs to collect himself.”

Snafu didn’t respond, just picked at his nails. He didn’t move until the four of them left, pulling his legs to his chest and trying to casually bury his face in his knees.

“You okay?” Joe asked.

No one had asked Snafu that. It didn’t really cross anyone’s minds to ask him if he was okay, as most people were reasonably worried over Sledge. Snafu couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“I ain’t the one in the hospital.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re okay.” Joe reasoned.

Snafu was quiet for a moment. “People like me ain’t supposed to have friends, you know. I knew it was a tickin’ bomb until it all went boom.” He tried to smile in an off way, as if he wanted to laugh the whole situation away but couldn’t.

“It’s just a fight.” Hoosier said. The way Snafu laughed at that made it clear that no, it wasn’t just a fight.

“Sometimes you hope for somethin’ so much you almost think it’s really gonna happen. Turns out I’ve been wastin’ all my patience on sweet nothin’.” Snafu said, face carefully blank. It was the most honest thing any of them had ever heard him say. He never talked about his emotions, never wanted to seem affected by anything. A little bit of alcohol and a passed out friend seemed to have loosened his filter.

“You love him.” Web said. There was no question. They all knew it, you’d have to be an idiot not to know the two and see it. But this was the first time any of them had been able to acknowledge it.

“It’s no romance.” Snafu drawled. “I don’t love anything.”

“But you love him.”

“Loving something doesn’t make it love you back.” He looked at Hoosier. “You should know that.”

“Fuck you, Snafu.”

“Y’think yo’ so discreet, but it’s clear as day to me.” Snafu tugged at his hair. “You’re just as fucked as me.”

Hoosier scoffed. “Stop trying to deflect your issues onto me.”

“He’ll act like he’s your best buddy, won’t he? Cryin’ to you when life gets rough, sharin’ a beer on the couch at the end of the week. Well, you ain’t nothin’ special. He’s got other friends he cares about more, y’know? And you’re just the fucked up friend he can hang around to feel better about himself. Because you’re so fucked up that you make him feel like he’s got it together.”

“Fuck you. God, Snafu, you know, I’m starting to see why it never worked out for you.”

“Hoosier-” Joe tried to stop him. He did not need his friends fighting like this. Web shrunk into his seat, afraid of this getting physical.

“You’re nothing to him. You’re trash. You’re convenient.” Snafu went on, staring blankly at the wall.

“Shut up.”

“You’re not important. You’re just a stray. You’re a pet project. You’re-”

“Shut up!” Hoosier stood suddenly, waking up Leckie and silencing everyone. “I don’t have to fucking listen to this. I’m leaving.”

“But wait, you’re my ride-” Leckie slurred, still in a confused daze. He reached out and held onto Hoosier’s sleeve, which Hoosier shook off angrily.

“Leave me alone.” Hoosier slipped on his coat. “And Snafu, open your fucking eyes because there’s other fucking people who care about you besides him. Ain’t meant to have friends my ass. I’d like to see you say that to Andy’s face.”

There was a tense silence after Hoosier left. Leckie had absolutely no idea what was going on. Web and Joe looked torn. Snafu was sprawled out lazily again. No one knew what to say. Tensions had never been this high between all the guys.

The ones who went to visit Sledge came back to a room of tension.

“What the hell just happened?” Andy asked. “Merriell?”

Snafu shrugged.

“Bill stomped out of here pretty angrily.” Leckie said. “I have no idea why. But he was my ride so now I’m stuck here. How’s Sledge?”

“We can take you back, no worries. Sledge is fine. He should be discharged by the morning. He’s just a little tired.” Andy sighed. His watch read 1:33 AM. He could’ve cried in frustration. In about five hours, he had to be up and ready to teach a class of rowdy eight year olds. He was so tired and so fucked. “But I need to go home now. I’m sorry, Merriell, you’re coming with me. You’ll have to see Sledge tomorrow.”

“You drag me out here and I don’t even get to see him?”

Andy didn’t have the energy to fight anymore. “Just come with us, Merriell.”

Snafu could tell he was walking on thin ice now, so he relented. Eddie was relieved.

Sid awkwardly lingered, unsure of what to do with himself. He’d come with Mary, but he figured he could find a way back home and insisted she take the car. Web saw him fidgeting and took pity on the kid. Usually, Sid was pretty bright eyed and confident, but some things just revert anyone back to being a scared child.

“You can ride with us.” He slung an arm around Sid’s shoulders. “How was he?”

“He’s going to agree to the surgery.” Sid said.

Web nodded, not really able to formulate a response to that. He figured it would happen, especially after his incident.

“Don’t tell Merriell.” Sid said. “Eugene wants to tell him. He feels real bad, you know? He just wants to talk to Merriell again, but I told him it’d have to wait until tomorrow.”

Joe, who was walking slightly in front of them, nodded. “This is just all sorts of fucked up.”

No one could disagree with that.

 

The next morning was tense. Ray was in awkwardly high spirits, but only because he’d gotten a goodnight kiss from Walt and a promise that he’d come over again after things settled down. Everyone else was in an awful mood.

Most of them had to go to work, so they at least had some sort of distraction. Andy had practically dragged himself up and out of bed. There was no pep in anyone’s step.

Snafu knew Eugene was taking the rest of the week off work and would be back by around ten, which is why he made extra sure to be early to work. He’d recently been taken in by Nixon, who offered him a simple secretarial job where he had to do basically nothing but answer a few phone calls a day and point people to the right offices. It wasn’t his favorite type of work, but it paid better than the cafe and it wasn’t permanent.

“I’m sending you home.” Nixon said as soon as he arrived.

“No thanks.”

“I’ll still pay you, dammit, just go home.” Nixon waved him off. “Get out of here. You get like nine sick days, use this one wisely. Go fix your shit.”

Nix was glad he and Dick were masters of communication and never had to deal with any of the dumb relationship shit those guys did. He could deal without a secretary for a day. God, he was a great friend.

 

Snafu was smart enough to actually go home like he was told. He knew there was a whole army of people he would piss off if he avoided going home.

Yes, Snafu was fucking terrified. He and Sledge had fought before, but never over things like this. And never was Sid living in the same building. It was weird and made him feel like itching his skin off.

Nobody had asked his side of the story, save for when Joe asked if he was alright. Nobody asked about the times in college when Snafu would have to open the bottle for Sledge and force the pill down his throat when his hands shook too much. Nobody asked how he felt about his best friend passing out in his bedroom because he was too proud to admit he needed medical help beyond a bottle of pills. Nobody cared because Sid was the best friend now and while it was petty to act hurt, it was impossible not to feel it. Sid might be Sledge’s long time friend, but even he’s admitted he missed a lot while they were at separate universities.

Walking up the stairs meant something Snafu didn’t want to face. Sledge was going to want answers for Snafu’s anger. There were things Snafu felt comfortable never dealing with, and his feelings for Sledge were at the top of the list.

He knocked on the door, wishing Sledge was asleep or too angry to speak with him. Anything to avoid the next shitstorm. Instead, Sledge opened the door, looking adorably exhausted. He seemed to look somewhat glad to see Snafu at his door.

“I was hoping you’d come by. We’ve got to talk. Come in, sit down.” Sledge pulled him in and nudged him towards the couch.

“I want to let you know that I’ve decided to meet with my heart doctor and schedule a day for the surgery.” Sledge said after they had settled down on the couch. Snafu honestly did not expect that. He was expecting anger, yelling, getting kicked out. Not this. “I also want to apologize for everything I said. You know how important you are to me. It was cruel for me to use it against you like that.”

Snafu felt uncomfortable for the first time in years around Sledge. His honesty was sharp and cut deep.

“You’re sorry?” Snafu was confused. He was the one who left things on a negative note. Shouldn’t he be sorry, not Sledge?

“Yes, I am. I was defensive and angry; I didn’t mean anything I said. A man can have two best friends.” Sledge breathed out a short laugh. “I was stupid. I didn’t see that you were just worried for me. Even after all these years, I can’t read you half as well as I think I can.”

Snafu couldn’t respond. It was untrue; Sledge was the only one who could read Snafu at all besides Joe and Hoosier.

“You really don’t know a thing.” Snafu tugged at his ear irritably and shook his head.

“What the hell are you talkin’ about? I’m the one sitting here trying to make things better.” Sledge said angrily. Fuck, Snafu was going to be in trouble if he didn’t talk fast.

“I got some secrets, Sledgehammah. I don’t like you knowin’ all my business. But I guess there’s no use in keepin’ this one under wraps no more.” Snafu said quietly.

“What secret, Snafu?”

Snafu sighed. “There’s a reason I was so worked up about yo’ refusin’ to do the smart thing and get surgery instead of poppin’ pills for the rest of yo’ life. Different than like yo’ old man.”

“I can’t play a guessing game with you, Merriell, what are you talking about?”

“Goddammit, I’m tryin’ta tell you I like you!” Snafu burst. He couldn’t use the other L-word, not yet. “The real kind. Y’know.”

“Well I like you too, but I don’t see how that’s a secret. I just said we’re best friends.”

“You’re fuckin…” Snafu shook his head and decided that desperate times call for desperate measures. He leaned in and kissed the confusion off of Sledge’s face. He mustered up all the emotions he could and tried his damnedest to put it into that kiss. His heart was still beating out of his chest when he pulled away. “D’ya see now?”

Sledge was wide eyed and dumbstruck. “Uh, yeah. I think I see now.”

Snafu took his lack of response following that as a rejection. Well, at least he’d prepared for that shit for the past few years. “I’m glad y’ain’t dead.” Snafu swallowed thickly and stood to leave.

“Wait, hold on. You can’t just spring that on me and expect me to be totally put together afterwards. Sit your ass back down and give me a moment.” Snafu did as he was told. Eugene grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes. It was an intimate moment that made Snafu feel completely uneasy, but in the most exciting way possible. “After all this time...you realize there was never a question of if? You and I were always a matter of when.”

“Thanks for that gay ass confession, Eugene.”

“Not sure if you’ve noticed, but you _are_ a gay ass.”

“Are you going to fuckin’ insult me the whole day or can we go back to making out?”

Sledge smiled cheekily at that. “Now that I know you got a big crush on me, I’m going to use it to my complete advantage.”

“Fuck you, Sledgehammer.”

 

Surprisingly, Ray was the one to find them making out on the couch a short time later. He’d come home to get his lunch when he remembered that Sledge was home and decided to be a great friend and pay him a visit.

“Sledgie, I hope you’re - Jesus fucking Christ, I need to stop walking in on people making out. Don’t you know he just came back from the hospital? Fuck, Snafu, you move in quick.”

Ray barely escaped the book that was thrown at his head as he ran off. 

**Author's Note:**

> Definitely not too proud of this chapter, but I'm looking forward to writing a more fun one next time. I needed to get this arc out of my mind first!


End file.
